Episode 1: Divide And Conquer

Technically this is the first episode, though during the original run of the show "Final Exam" was the first episode and this was the third-WHATEVER! Anyway, I've never reviewed a TV show so this will be a new experience for all of us! I will try to cope with my inner fan girl! She does escape sometimes though...

The episode opens with a shot of the prison and sirens are going off- Cinderblock is breaking in. Why? Who knows

This guy

Some guards get taken out, but eh, who cares about guards? Impressive laser guns though, I didn't know they had laser guns for everyone! (Though it's probably because actual guns wouldn't get past kid TV-censors or something). Then-the titans show up! Admitably it wasn't the coolest entrance, and it was a bit cliched ("I know five good reasons...." then they count off as they enter), but the animation was nice in the meantime.

-Aaannd cut to the opening theme!

-when we get back the fighting actually starts. I have to admit, I was surprised the animation was this nice for the first episode, but I guess they wanted to get the audience hooked. It's all cheesy one-liners, some that make sense ("I am stronger than I look") and some that don't...("Watch out for falling dinosaurs"). WOAH! What the heck? Beast Boy sounds like ten years younger than usual! Oh well...

Unfortunately as Robin and Cyborg try to do a 'sonic boom' to defeat him, something goes wrong and Cinderblock breaks into the jail and grabs a dude in some kind of....stasis chamber? Does this show take place in an awesome futuristic city or something? I never noticed all the weird technology they had. As more prisoners try to escape the titans quickly put them back in their place in the meanwhile. Raven also does that cool thing where she materializes out of a wall from the opening theme!

It's the exact pose and everything-but in an episode instead of the opening theme! SQUEE~ Sorry! *puts fangirl back into the box* She won't come out again!

Anyway...
As soon as it's all said and done for Robin and Cyborg start fighting. It all sounds very typical of kids and their reasoning is immature and instead of solving the problem, they just yell insults at each other. Cyborg decides to leave the team and storms off. The show seems to treat it like a couple breaking up, also notice how the other three have no say in whether or not they want Cyborg to leave. Robin/Cyborg anyone? (*strangles fan-girl* It's too early for shipping!)

I hate it when mommy and daddy fight

Meanwhile in the creepy abandoned warehouse of creepy machinery....SLADE!! Cinderblock wakes up plasmas, who turns into a mass of goo. There's a moment where he seems completely horrified at having to turn into the goo-thing, it's sad really... For about two seconds he seemed like a nice guy...

Then they go to....uh...destroy stuff I guess. It's not really important I guess.

What IS important is that the rest of the team is missing their favorite half-robot buddy. Beast boy calls him ("I know you're there! The phone's built in your arm!"), Starfire makes a gross pudding to cope with her feelings and Raven....

....What?

She's fine. Starfire tries cheering them up, but it of course doesn't work. Robin is reminded of Cyborg wherever he goes. It's really kind of sad. He can't even enjoy beating his old high score at a video game. He spends all day moping around.
Then the alarms go off and it's time for the titans to go back in action! I'm not really one for talking about fight scenes unless I thought it was particularly cool. The next several minutes are spent with them getting their butt kicked a few times. Slade watches creepily from his lair. He mutters how disappointed he is at their lack of strength with just a single member missing, before sending Cinderblock out for a mysterious 'Phase Three' I'm certain we will never hear of again.

He is always watching you

Back at the toxic waste plant the titans are still getting their butts kicked. Of note, I noticed the background music in this scene, I like it! I'm going to have to look up the score to this series sometime. They are separated and get beaten up one by one by these creepy little plasmas clones or something. Robin almost falls into a vat of toxic waste during the fight when suddenly-Cyborg saves him! They reconcile and team up to save the rest of the team from the goo! Hooray!

And nothing ties up plot holes and destroys our beautiful Aesop about teamwork faster than Cyborg revealing that he defeated Cinderblock all by himself off-screen.

Sorry, I can't hear over the sound of how awesome I am

Uh....They cheerfully decide that there's some other mastermind behind the scenes to devise this plan. We cut to Slade smashing a teacup in anger muttering about a new plan and how "The Titans will pay."

"Teamwork! Yeah!"
*Raven, Beast boy & Starfire stand around and do nothing*